Heard this one at the Caravan Show...

Submitted: Wednesday, May 05, 2004 at 07:04
ThreadID: 120556 Views:2779 Replies:2 FollowUps:0
This Thread has been Archived
An old couple had finally realised their ambition of touring Australia together - one day then they were touring a strange town,and inadvertently drove the wrong way up a One Way street. Needless,they were pulled over by a copper who inquired of the driver "Sir,do you realise you just drove against the traffic up a one way street?"

On that, the old bloke turned to his wife and started abusing her - "You old dag, it's your fault! You're supposed to be navigating! You're just a stupid, useless old woman dammit!"

The policeman was shocked and said to the lady, "M'am, that's terrible - does he always talk to you like that?"

She replied straight back, "No sir, only when he's drunk"

Back Expand Un-Read 0 Moderator

Reply By: Deleted User - Wednesday, May 05, 2004 at 07:06

Wednesday, May 05, 2004 at 07:06
Good one, Flipn'. In order to provide BOGGERS with maximum value when visiting this site, I have taken the liberty of attaching a list of important things that you probably didn't know, but might want to.... If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days at sea level on Earth, you would have generated enough acoustic energy to heat one cup of coffee to 79 degrees C. (Hardly seems worth it.) If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, the combustion of the resulting gas would have the thermal equivalence of one medium yield Hydrogen bomb (Now that's more like it!) The human heart, when given the oportunity, will spurt blood 10 meters from the body - for a very short time..... (O.M.G!) A male pig's orgasm can last 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig - though some would say I am already.) A cockroach can survive 9 days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.) (I'm still not over that pig.) Banging your head against the wall uses 150 Calories per hour. (Do not try this at home........ maybe at work or the bank queue.) The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is still attached. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. (Too many one-liners to think about ... "He lost his head & had his way with me, darling! Care for another spritzer?"; "Honey, I'm home! What the ..!"; "God gave man a brain and a bleep , but only enough blood to operate one at a time." Ah...., make up your own!) The flea can jump 350 times its own length. (Its like a human jumping the length of a football field from a standing start.) (30 minutes .... that lucky pig ... can you imagine???) The catfish has over 27,000 tastebuds. (So tell me, what's so tasty down there on the slimy bottom of that pond?) Some lions mate over 50 times per day. (I still prefer the pig - quality over quantity.) Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know.) The strongest muscle in the human body in power to weight ratio, is the tongue. (Hmmm.....Now what could we do with that????) The three secrets of a camel's success are : collapsable blood cells that can almost instantly absorb vast quantities of water (so their big drinks don't kill them), their hump/s full of fat -not water - (that give them the energy to cruise all day for weeks) their amazing nose (long, convoluted cavity with special crystals, both of which act to hydrate the air coming in, so as not to sear the lungs, and then strip the moisture back out again on the way out) (Wish I had that.) Right-handed people live, on average, 9 years longer than left handed. (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?) Optimists live on average 7 years longer than pesimists (and enjoy the process.) (Does that mean right-handed optimists live 16 happy years longer than left-handed cranky buggers?) Elephants are the only animals that can't jump. (OK, so that would be a good thing....) A cat's urine glows under black light. (I wonder how much someone was paid to figure that out?) An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain. (I know some people like that.) Starfish have no brains. (I know some people like that, too.) 5% of people think. 15% of people think they think. 85% of people would rather watch TV. Polar bears are left-handed. (If they switch they'll live a lot longer.) Studies show that people believe they would be happy if only they earned 30% more. Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What about that pig?) A one minute belly-laugh is the eqivalent of a 1 kilometer walk. (Or 30 minutes of sex.) (Gotcha.) Griff
AnswerID: 562096

Reply By: Luvntravln - Wednesday, May 05, 2004 at 07:07

Wednesday, May 05, 2004 at 07:07
Great! Copied, pasted, and sent to the family tgintl/jay
AnswerID: 562097

Our Sponsors